Memos From Your Child

A few months ago, I brought my baby to his pedia. He was sick at that time and we badly needed medical help. Unfortunately, his doctor was out of the country and had to resort with the proxy. While dancing him to sleep at the clinic, I came across something posted on the wall:

MEMOS FROM YOUR CHILD

1. Don’t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for. I’m only testing you.
2. Don’t be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it; it makes me feel more secure.
3. Don’t let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.
4. Don’t make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly “big”.
5. Don’t correct me in front of others if you can help it. I’ll make much more notice if you talk more quietly with me.
6. Don’t make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values.
7. Don’t protect me from my consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.
8. Don’t be upset when I say “I hate you”. It isn’t you I hate, but your power to thwart me.
9. Don’t take too much notice of small ailments, sometimes they get me the attention I need.
10. Don’t nag me. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.
11. Don’t make me rash promises. Remember that I feel badly let down when promises are broken
12. Don’t forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like. That is why I’m not always very accurate.
13. Don’t tax my honesty too much. I am easily frightened into telling lies.
14. Don’t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.
15. Don’t put me off when I ask you questions. If you do, you will find that I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.
16. Don’t tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and you can do much to re-assure me if you try to understand.
17. Don’t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover you are neither.
18. Don’t ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me surprisingly warm to you.
19. Don’t forget how quickly I’m growing up. It must be very difficult for you to keep pace with me but try, please.
20. Don’t forget that I love experimenting. I couldn’t get on without it, so please put up with it.
21. Don’t forget that I can’t thrive without LOTS OF LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING FROM YOU, but this I don’t have to mention, do I?

Father and son bonding (labing2)

Mama giving baby some love

      What I read from the wall made me ponder and read it several times. Everything written was undeniably true. Most parents take over their children's lives without even giving them a chance to grow and make mistakes. At least this gives us an idea that they are only human that needs to be guided, loved and most of all UNDERSTOOD. To all moms out there, hope you enjoy reading and be enlightened by this simple memo. :)

A Story of Appreciation

This is a powerful message in our modern society. We seemed to have lost our bearing & our sense of direction.

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "none".

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'

The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."

The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager.  I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

How This Came to Be

     As advised by my OB, I needed several months rest due to some complications in relation to my health and my work schedule. Chrionni Bernard "King" Decrepito, a good friend and colleague of mine, suggested that I write a journal to document the things I've been doing and express my thoughts while waiting for my baby to come out. I disregarded the idea for quite some time and it only took me this month to carry it out.

     Several reasons were taken into consideration before venturing into this new so-called hobby of mine.  First and foremost, I hate the idea of writing my thoughts since I tend to regret what I write especially if I find it unsatisfactory. Second, I needed to finish reading some of the books that I bought but then again only finished two. Lastly, I wanted to finish my 'Riviera' cross-stitch since it has been put away for more than a year.

still 10% of my work. :)

     Utterly bored and tired with my daily routine, I decided to take the courage in pursuing this endeavor. Well, some risks have to be taken and I prefer taking this positively.

      I only write every time I have an inspiration or get emotional on some things. And usually I write poems. In school, when there are suggested readings and written reports assigned several months before the deadline, I get too lazy and find it hard to lift my pen to write. And as usual, I cram the day before the deadline and pass my work without finding satisfaction in doing it. This time, I want to change...for the better. I will be writing my thesis soon or decide to write some articles that interests me. And I believe this is a good training ground to hone my skills. Being a a graduate of History does not only confine me to teaching but also there are other opportunities related to my field of interests. And I have learned that a true historian does not only teach but write.
     After all, this is my blog, and whatever opinions and comments you have, they are always welcome. In this world, whatever you do there would always be people who would agree and disagree with you. Que sera sera. This is a new chapter in my life and I hope this is going to be a fruitful one...

Special thanks to 'my dodong' who brought up this topic.

Experimenting

This is the first time I've ever shared my thoughts on the net. First and foremost, I am due this month and I can't seem to think of anything else to do. I've read several books already and started stitching. But my eyes get tired easily and it cramps my wrists. So I've decided to write whatever nonsense or sensible things I can think of in my blog. After all, playing games on FB gets me bored easily. I wonder if this new hobby too would go to the sinkhole once my baby comes out. Let's wait and see..... As of now, I'll enjoy this new venture of mine. :)